Life or something...

More lists....

2008-06-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

Listen friend I am going to give you some unsolicited advice...

You SHOULD be listening to:
Voices-Madonna
Miles Away- Madonna
The Ting Tings
Any Uh Huh Her you can get your grubby little hands on.

You SHOULD be watching:
Weeds
Secret Diary of A Call Girl (Also Read the blog http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com/2003_10_01_archive.html )
Dr. Who
The weather (it's the only 'news' related bit I can handle)

You SHOULD be reading:
Books, fuckers. I don't care what they are. Magazines are for chumps and newspapers are written for people with low reading comprehension (unless it's some snobby liberal rag). At any rate it is less entertaining than a book.

You (I) SHOULD be:
Outside writing poetry, reading and picking flowers instead of wherever we are.

Future plans:
Dancing in the rain (Eh what floods my flower bed is dry dry dry)
Seeing a movie
Living each day like I'm already dead
moving

Life's little things...

2008-06-20T12:18:00.001-07:00

So I have a mo to update. Right now I like listing my life into lists. So I will have a few in this here post that you are reading right now.

Lori's List of Good Stuff Right Now:

-summer

-trip to MN. in July?

-Semi well behaved chillins

-burnt hot dogs on the bar-b

-movies and popcorn

-water fights

-sassy and slightly inappropriate Madonna

-Rhea is moving out (can I get a witness)

-dutch oven pizza

-misusing British slang

-KITTENS + Odie+ Bear=Cat Heaven (Hell?!?)

-$5 chocolate malts

Things that I can tolerate because they are part of summer:

-ants

-biting bugs

-sweat

-heat

-teenagers never mind I still loathe those.

I have become completely obsessed with journals. Unfortch. I am not entirely comfortable with sharing 90% of what goes into these journals (yes there are more than 1) with anyone. Partially because most of what goes into them is vented frustration and anger and I'm not about to put those bad vibes into the world. The main reason, however, is that I am sure that most people could give piss all about my life.

I suppose I could re update what has been going on with Los gatos. Do you really care? Fuck it. Pointless stories/posts are what I am all about. Now where to start?

OK, well when a cat goes into heat she is ready to...no no only kidding.

The story is:

-Odie got her slut ass knocked up

-Odie got huge and needy

-Odie popped out 7 beauts.

-Odie had surgery to remove her girl parts because she retained two placenti and shit was gooey in there

-Odie's shit got reinfected

-Odie runs out of "juice" is in pain

-Lori shoots disinfectant into Odie's incision and shoves pills down her throat

This-plus-that-plus-this-and-that ba-da-bing ba-da-boom $400 dollar vet bill. Ri-fucking-diculous. Lesson learned get your cats lady parts worked on BEFORE she gets all Jamie Lynn Spears on your ass.

So Odie is still recovering and I have no idea is she needs another surgery we shall see next Wednesday. She seems to be doing better but that could be because she's no longer fucked up on pain meds.

2008-06-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am in serious need of a vacation again. Our family trip to Hannibal was cancelled due to the fact that my sister decided to move out. However, I hopefully, am going to Minneapolis in July. Then a move in August. Until then I have the birth of some kittens to look forward to. I can't wait, I LOVE baby kitties.

Lovely times, indeed...

2008-05-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

Bad news likes to hit my family in bursts. My dad is hopefully on his way to my Uncle Joe's to recover from having two more stints put in his heart. The reason why he is not returning to the unfortunately newly built house is because Ang decided that this week was probably the best time in the world to leave him. So not only does he have to recover from the stints he also has to deal with that. It all seems so worthless...like what was the point of them breaking up my family and hers if she's just going to bail on him. It sucks that he has to go through this while he is dealing with his heart troubles. Jesus he stopped smoking, has improved his diet but he is still having blockages and problems. Well on the brighter side at least it wasn't open heart surgery.
Heart disease sucks!
Lori

Wow...It's been a while.

2008-05-09T19:33:00.000-07:00

Well let's see first things first. Iowa City was fun. It was nice to see friends again. It's also bittersweet because not all of my loved ones were there. Friday night we just hung out at Fitzy's and caught up. Saturday night was insane. We went to the fieldhouse and like usual there were about 12,000 people in there. I was supposed to go see my sweet Jill at the mill, but ended up calling it an early night around midnight because the bar became unbearable and I felt like an old hag. Which is sad because I doubt very much that I get to see Jill, Spagz, and Sexypants ever again.
Fast forward a month or so and my life is back to the same old boring shit. I am starting to save money to get the eff out of here. I just don't know where to yet. The original plan of moving to Minneapolis seems like a good one, but I'm still kinda iffy about living in a city that gets more snow than Iowa. I need to move to a mild climate that isn't too hot and doesn't have snow. Is there such a place? Hopefully there will be a visit to Minneapolis this summer so I can check it out. If it seems affordable and so cool that I can overlook the winter I will move there. I kinda just want to get the eff outta the Midwest, ya know?
The Kiddos and I have been spending a lot of time in the Scholte garden again now that it is nice again. We will have to start walking out the cemetery too. My cat Odie is pregnant because I suck and didn't get her fixed. Oops. Bob Barker would be so disappointed.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Jesus rebirth day! Yesterday was Riley's bday...he's four. This weekend it is off to Iowa City to hang out with the old gang!!! Nothing else new to report!
xoxoxo, L. Pistol!

Shitty indeed...

2008-02-15T20:58:00.000-08:00

If winter lasts any longer I may misplace my mind. Not to mention everything that could go wrong at my house is going wrong. It's been a pretty sweet winter all around. In other news I bought all my reunion mates some super sweet gifts. I also got some new shades, new clothes, some spanx and treated myself to the MIA paper planes homeland security remixes, which are of course, crazy and delicious.
Well that is all...
Peace, L.

Stresssseddd

2008-02-12T17:23:00.001-08:00

I am stressed the eff out...it sucks. I cannot wait for our reunion trip at the end of March. Iowa City will be a blessed escape for a while.
xoxoxo, L.

P.S.

2008-01-16T21:11:00.000-08:00

"Life fits living so let your judgements go..."

M., The Queen. Sky Fits Heaven

I apologize for the harshness that accompanied the statements about my neighbors they are really nice people...just a little misguided, um, about politics....and I try not to be critical of people because of their beliefs.

I'm a Duck...

2008-01-16T20:02:00.000-08:00

Well boys and girls, I was told by the one reader of my blog that it was time for an update. So here we are....coming to save the day. Nothing new has really even happened since my last post. My minor health issue seems to be nothing more than ANOTHER cyst....gosh that's like three that I have now.
So basically I have been doing nothing, just sitting around my house gaining weight and picking up dust. I am trying to get motivated and work out and go for walks but am often thwarted by Iowa's shitty snow/ice and the lack of snow removal by the fine (ha ha) people of Pella. I try to do yoga but Riley seems to think that I am jungle gym. Needless to say that these obstacles are taking wind out of my work out sails. However, this lack of activity/loneliness is not the motivator that I thought it would be. It seems to be sapping my amazingness out of me...which, of course is why I should say weather be damned and go have awesome snow ball fights with the chillins of the 'hood.

It has become apparent to me that the end of my time in Pella is not nigh....I would say that I am in the middle of my stay. Basically, it boils down to lack of fiances to get the fuck out. Any money that I had saved is nowing being thrown into an Iowa City reunion (yipee!!!! this is NOT sarcasm), getting my cats lady parts worked on and taxes (fucking hell, I have to pay those now?) All of this is a result of my weirdly wanting some sanity, my cat to be healthy and to not get thrown if minimum security prison. Although going to prison could help me in the working out department? ehh maybe not. Being self employed blows, but it does beat working at walmart/Casey's/mcds. Speaking of Wal Mart I am thinking this spring I should get a part time daytime job there (just for MORE $). I know I know...'I have a college degree'. Unfortunately, in Pella that makes about as much difference as pointing out that God loves everybody (yes, even those gay people). Speaking of God loving Gay people my neighbors have a Huckabee yard sign (yuck!) These, of course, are the same people that take the babies to church...apparently they want our country to burst into a pile of religious-conservative-broke-gay-hating mess (instead of the mere rapid creep that we have right now). Dear God, help me save my babies. If you don't know what I am talking about then go here....I found this little tid bit on Perez...it's scary as hell.

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2007/11/13/huckabee/ OR

http://perezhilton.com/2008-01-14-headline-of-the-week-weak-74#more-12189

PS they are the same article I just want to make sure that the two people that stumble upon this can read it.

That was a mayja side tangent. Now back to my future at Walmart. See the only places in Pella that give a shit about a degree are City jobs (which I don't feel like making a long term commitment to this place) and Pella Corp. I DO NOT want to go back on the 3rd shift which is all they hire for (you have to work your way onto nights, then days takes about 5 years) AND they just had a massive layoff AGAIN. I am, however, going to try my luck at the library before I grudgingly crawl my way to walmart entrance to slavery.

So that is my thought process right now....it's the same shit erreeday. Oh and I got a new haircut. Es un madre haircut. Well that is mi vida, loves.

Peace, L.

It's been awhile...

2008-01-07T15:44:00.000-08:00

As of right now nothing really new is going on in my life. I am going through some minor undiagnosed health problems, but don't fret chillins I am sure it's nothing to worry about. I just recently finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It's probably the most profoundly depressing book I have ever read. It's about a man and his son who are traveling on the road in post-apocalyptic America. All they have is a cart full of blankets, whatever food they can scavenge, and a pistol with two bullets. They aren't the only ones alive though. They have to hide from cannibalistic gangs. I won't say much more about the plot because it is a book that you MUST read. I will however type up a couple of my favorite lines from the book.
"Like pilgrims in a fable swallowed up and lost among the inward parts of some granitic beast." pg. 3

"He knew only that the child was his warrant. He said: If he is not the word of God God never spoke." p. 5

And my favorite quote from the whole book;
"People were always getting ready for tomorrow. I didn't believe in that. Tomorrow wasn't getting ready for them. It didn't even know they were there." p.168

HAPPY TURKEY DAY

2007-11-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

Well today is leading up to be another dramatic thanksgiving for the Parker family. It's 11 am and already it sounds like shit is going to hit le fan. God I love the holidays....:(
More deets to come
L.

2007-11-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been reading books like a madwoman...and let me tell you they are good reads. Not much else has been going on in my life. Last weekend I celebrated my 24 bday with Stef and Megan in DSM. We went to two haunted houses they were so much fun I almost peed my pants from laughing/screaming.(effing people wouldn't stop following me). Megan ran us into about 30 walls but thats all good. Oh and I made a new friend although I don't know her name...all I know is that she was FREAKING out in the 'stalkers' haunted house and had to hold my hand the whole way. It was awkward and I loved it. I also had an enjoyable awkward moment in the Bennigans bathroom, but I won't share this one. Maybe later I will share some good passages from the books I have been reading...

Biding my time...an ode to CDFO y EAC

2007-10-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

My Bday is in less than 19 days. Yeah! I cannot wait to have some grown-up fun. Time has really flown by. I still have a lot of things to plan before next October. A visit to see Erica, welcoming Chelsea home from Chile. Saving money, finding a new job, and a place to live in Minneapolis(near-ma'-dear Erica).

All of this has gotten me thinking and remembering what it was like to live on my own. Paying bills is stressful, and not being around my babies will be hard. I just can't help remembering all the boring and completely random things that went on when Chelsea and I lived together. In my opinion we are pretty compatible roommates. We never seem to understand what the other one is saying, we both love foreigner, and we are both cheap(and prepared to live in le ghetto). Not to mention that any weirdness won't be a surprise. I just hope that I can get my game together so that we can weird each other out on a daily basis again. AND I miss seeing/weirding Erica out on a daily basis, as well. Basically I want my friends back. I am not choosing my friends over my babies, it's just that the time has come for me to move (on?). I have to accept the fact that I am not their mother and that I can't be with them forever and always.

And, I have not found my cat. But I have not given up hope that I will never see her again.

I want my effing cat back...

2007-09-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

So the gods of heaven and earth have decided to smite me in some bizarre twist of karmic retribution... My beloved cat Garfield has gone missing. Now I'm not sure if everyone knows but I love my cats like they are my own children. So, I awoke this morning with hope that my beloved would be waiting outside for me to let her inside. When that didn't happen I then put in calls to the local vets because Pella lacks an animal shelter. (Mind you that I cried during all of these calls...disgusting). They put her in the system, then I had call and file a missing kitty report with the Pella Police department. I found this a little ridiculous that the Police department had to be involved. Just goes to show what a small town Pella is, instead of missing persons they deal with missing cats. The bizarre thing is that only yellow short hair cats seem to go missing around this town. Right now including G there are three missing yellow short haired cats. My sister is convinced that some satanic cult kidnapped my cat. I don't care who effing took her, they had just better let my baby go home. AND NOW. Garfield was an incredibly special cat and I really hope that she gets returned home safe and sound. Plus Odie is missing her older sister....

and I am not chocking Odie....it just looks like it :(

Fall is almost my favorite season...

2007-09-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

Early fall just may be the best time of the year. It would be my favorite season if only it did not precede the dreaded winter. The weather has been close to perfect and all the little kids are in school so that means that Riley and I can do whatever we want with out other kids around!! Right now my life is full of going to the park, taking walks to the cemetery, and reading outside while Riley is off torturing whatever poor insect crosses his path. And my gardens are doing great so I can look at pretty flowers while I am outside. Looking at it in writing seems fairly boring, and a way it is....but it is also kinda fun.

Right now I am re-reading Sherman Alexie's Lone Ranger and Tonto; and it always surprises me how powerful, depressing and funny he can be at the same time. Some of my favorite passages from this book are:

"He could see his uncles slugging each other with such force that they had to be in love. Strangers would never want to hurt each other that badly" &

"Well, I told her the doctor showed me X-rays and my favorite tumor was just about the size of a baseball, shaped like one too. Even had stitch marks."

Of course it doesn't hurt that my birthday is in the fall...and who can forget Halloween(the best holiday ever!!!). Now that I am home I get to take Chloe and Riley trick or treating. And decorate with lots of cool creepy things, and oh buddy do we have some great decorations this year. I'm pretty excited for my birthday because I get to hang out with some old high school friends that I never get to see. It will be something different. I am definitely not making another trip to Ia City for my birthday.

A Brand New Day

2007-09-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

"We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course." Memoirs of a Geisha

Life is strange sometimes, and mine never seems to turn out "right". It has been more than a year since I left college. Back then I was in a completely different place. I was living life the way I thought it should be lived. The adjustment from living on my own, around all of my friends to living at home with my crazy unstable family, and being utterly friendless threw me. I am not going to lie about that. I have spent the past year in total turmoil, and depression. I fought the path that my life had taken and ended up fighting with everyone around me. I was very unhappy.

I don't know why it is that I am suddenly feeling very at peace with myself and my surroundings. I still am friendless. But now I feel like I am swimming with the current instead of against it. It is not like my life has dramatically improved or that my financial downfall has been resolved. It's just that I don't feel unhappy. I'm still not happy in Pella, but maybe I am a little less unhappy with my life. Perhaps it is acceptance, but I kinda feel like I am alive again.

"Ya-hey' he called out to the movement of the unseen. A summer before, Uncle Moses listened to his nephew John-John, talking a story. John-John was back from college and told Moses that 99 percent of matter in the universe is invisible to the human eye. Ever since Moses made sure to greet what he could not see." Lone Ranger and Tonto Fist Fight in Heaven.